I can’t quite believe that this time last year I nervously launched this website. This blog. This collation of stories from my incredibly chaotic life.

As it’s been one full-on year, and I think it would be remiss of me to not acknowledge it!

Looking back now, I’m actually kind of proud that I forged on with The Chezzi Diaries. Logistically, it wasn’t easy! We had no internet and I had to sit on the public computers at my local library to write most of my posts.

I had absolutely no faith (still don’t) in my ability to write my stories in concise, bite-sized pieces as I have always had a tendency to waffle on. For those who are familiar with my sometimes quite looooonnnnnnngggggg pieces, you’re probably laughing hard at this. It’s still something I’m trying to work on. One post at a time…

To be perfectly honest with you though, and I guess now is the time, I was beyond petrified to put myself “out there” publicly because let’s face it, some of the things my clumsy/dramatic self seems to get involved with might be funny to me, but I was scared of the implications my rambling on could have for my family I guess. I mean, my close friends and family are quite used to the lunacy that I possess. But how would it be taken by people who didn’t really know me?

Well, to my absolute surprise – and still, denial – my craziness and sometimes very frank pieces seemed to resonate with so many. One particular piece I wrote about my breastfeeding struggles helped to open a dialogue with many mums who had also found themselves in similar situations. So not only was it cathartic for me to remember and try to articulate, I feel that I’ve been able to help others and that is an absolute high point for me.

The popularity of this little website also prompted me to create Mummy Time TV. Taking what was just a small idea in the back of my mind (which I was quite comfortable to leave there for a few more years) and creating an entire concept, logos, and organising a full-on production with a bunch of like-minded mums. The Chezzi Diaries pushed me out of my comfort zone to a point where I even jumped back in front of the camera to head up Mummy Time TV, petrified that I would resemble a deer in headlights. It had been so long since I had been on that side of the camera, and having two children turned my working brain into scrambled egg and I was scared. Very scared!

I was so reluctant to write about anything because for years I believed I was a terrible writer. I was so worried about my punctuation. So fearful that what I was writing about would send most people to sleep. I never felt like I was good enough, but I began. I just decided to write a paragraph. It was rough, I admit. It didn’t read well at all but it prompted me to write a little bit more. And a little bit more. And now fast forward a year and I LOVE writing. I absolutely enjoy every second. Plus, my confidence has grown with every new sentence I’ve created. I’ve written some crap pieces but I’ve also written some wonderful pieces. And my fear of writing and being good enough is slowly dissipating, which has helped me in other aspects of my life. It has helped me take more risks and to give myself a whole hearted pat on the back at times. It’s helped me be more insightful into my fears too.

So I guess you’re wondering what point I’m trying to make here with all my congratulating myself. My point is that in one year from now YOU HAVE NO IDEA what you will be doing OR WHERE you may find yourself. Life is full of decisions and opportunities. And if you’re anything like me, you’ve spent a great deal of it hiding away and playing the safe card. Maybe you’re scared like I was. Maybe you don’t know how to begin. Maybe you’re worried you’re not good enough. Regardless, we all fear similar things. All you need to do is take one step in the direction of where you want to go. For me that was writing, but for you it could be a dream you’d given up. It’s never too late. You have to feel and acknowledge the fear, but push yourself out there. Just a baby step to begin with. Because life is great and you deserve to be living the life you want. Imagine what you could be doing one year from now. The possibilities are endless!

Chezzi

Xoxox