I thought I’d write a little diary entry (operative word being “little” as I have a man staring over my shoulder as I write this at the public library). If you’re just joining me, and you’re thinking, ‘why the hell is she hanging out writing at the public library instead of in the comfort of her own home, wearing something professional-like, instead of baby vomit-stained activewear, then I’ll catch you up to speed real quick!

I live in a rural town and have no internet as I’m waiting for the NBN roll out in our area. It was scheduled for early 2015, then late 2015, early 2016, soon became late 2016, and now, with the latest update of mid-2017, it’s anyone’s guess when it will happen. Come on, Mal!

Anyhoo, this week has been filled to the brim with wedding stuff. My very best girlfriend of 20 years got hitched, and it was divine! As a hopeless romantic, I adore weddings – well, most weddings! This one was very special, because I sincerely love the couple and was proud as punch to stand beside them as their Maid of Honour (ok, as many of you have pointed out, MATRON of Honour, but that makes me feel old!).

Part of my duty was to remain upright while walking down the aisle, which if you’ve read some of my previous diary entries, is a somewhat difficult task! But I made it to the alter and didn’t trip once. My main duty was to give a speech at the reception, and I found it really tough to write, and as it turns out, even tougher to deliver. When I first starting jotting down how I felt about the bride, I would just lose it. Tears, blubbering mess – you get the picture! So, I reworded the part that seemed to bring me undone. This time, I tried to be a little less emotive with my words. It started out as, “We’ve been through some real tough times together, we’ve grown up together and regardless of how scary or exciting life became, you were always by my side, propping me up high or making me feel like I could survive…” and I change it to, “we’ve grown up together and have faced good times and bad, together”… and even that simplified pissy version would make me lose it!

Finally, just two days before she was due to say “I do”, I read what I had written to my husband for some honest feedback. I could see he was trying to hold back a smile as he watched me struggle through it. “Really good,” he said, before adding, “You may want to tone down the whole “love at first sight” bit or people may think you guys had a little lesbian dalliance when you first started hanging out.”

Hmmm … He was so right! It did sound very mushy. It did kinda read like we had the hots for each other when we first met. Shit! That is NOT what I meant… I meant when we first met, we realised both of us were weird, zany, laugh-at-our-own-jokes kinda girls who enjoyed spending 3/4 of our weekly salary on makeup and hair products, which we also loved spending all weekend playing with. Together!

At times, she had been my only friend. She was without a doubt the first person I would call when I had great news, and she was the first person I needed to see when something dreadful had happened. We were eerily similar in personality, only each of us would always joke that we were funnier and prettier than the other, when we really knew it was the other way around. She was more of a sister to me than a friend. We had been through everything together. Personal things that I won’t write about here… things that other people may never experience in their lives, we seemed to attract most types of drama throughout our 20 years of friendship and for each challenge, we came out on top. Because, I believe, our friendship was so strong. Magical. Magical may sound a little farfetched, but we’re both Scorpios and to us that word holds perfect meaning! (Breathe Chezzi) Sorry I get a little carried away when I discuss this. I think you get my drift. She means a lot to me! Her happiness means a great deal to me. Her family is my family. Her husband is like the brother I never had. I needed to capture all this feeling in my speech; however I couldn’t articulate all of this without falling apart!

The day started off a little rough. The weather changed and things became a little stressful, but not for long. The sun came out strong as we headed to the stunning venue. My best girlfriend was glowing. Like a trillion times a pregnant glow, she was so happy. It was contagious! I felt elated to be a part of such a magnificent celebration. The music started. My fellow bridesmaid began to walk down the aisle, casually looking back with a smile to myself and behind me, the bride hand-in-hand with her dad. Now it was my time to slowly walk. I steadied myself and began. My right ankle wobbling worryingly at the start. I kept telling myself “you DO NOT fall today, stand up Chezzi, walk straight, look ahead, shoulders back, belly in, smile… eek (wobble) we are NOT FALLING today!”

I saw my husband in the crowd and he gave me a look like he loved me and he was proud of me. I looked at my best girlfriend walk down to the front beside me, I glanced over at the groom, and he looks so happy but a little emotional. I begin to cry. I try holding back my tears, but a lump in my throat feels like it’s beginning to swirl my entire oesophagus and I literally have three or four guests get up to pass me tissues. Ugh! This is not the attention I want nor do I want anyone to think I am anything but happy for my bestie and her beau. I pull myself together. I didn’t cry again until I deliver my speech. Oh, boy!

Everyone in the room is expecting me to crack some jokes or make some silly faces. I approach the mic deadly serious. I begin my speech, deadly serious. I look at my best friend’s dad and he is emotional and my voice begins to waiver. I pause. Everyone sits up in their seats a little more, expecting me to say something incredibly deep and meaningful but it is not that part of the speech I think to myself. Pull it together, Chez. I continue only this time with as much gusto and confidence as I can muster. I read to the end. To the part where I talk about true love. I feel that bloody lump in my throat start to swell again. I pause for a moment and then try to force through so that the guests know I mean it when I say, I couldn’t be prouder to stand beside this couple today, my best friends. Applause. Wobble back to my seat (ankle is a little swollen now from walking in heels, hahaha) and change shoes to flat dressy thongs before the next speech!

The next day, whilst reminiscing, I began to recall other weddings I had been to. I remember going to a wedding where the groom never showed up. Yup! That was awkward. The bride was told he was missing an hour before the service. He had been missing since the previous night (ala The Hangover) and when the groom was finally found, he wasn’t very popular you could say. The wedding did go ahead the following day with a few less guests as planned but unfortunately it didn’t last a year.

There was another wedding I went to when I was nineteen and single. I was so excited to have caught the bridal bouquet only to be tackled onto the dance floor by the bride’s sister who screamed repeatedly “drop it bitch, it’s mine”… whilst thrashing my hand and the bouquet into the dance floor as I was too shocked to let go. And just to make everything a little more entertaining, her dress split across her backside revealing her g-string to a table of Aunties and Uncles sitting behind the spectacle. When she was finally lifted off me, I realised she had actually bitten me on the arm and the lower neck! Seriously! She apologised profusely the next day and we remained friends, however I have never ever tried to catch a bouquet since that day.

The other wedding I thought about was my Las Vegas wedding to my husband (we were first married the previous year) when I was six months pregnant. We filmed the entire thing and ran it on Sunrise – I think the video is on this website under … videos? I wanted to wear a southern belle style wedding dress and be walked down the aisle by Elvis. What a hoot! We had so much fun prepping! Only thing was the size of the dress was reasonably small and it was pretty tight around my ribs and pregnant belly. In the video, you can hear how soft my voice sounds. I wasn’t trying to sound posh or pathetic – I literally could hardly breathe let alone speak! Hahahaha.

Well, I’ve just noticed my time limit is just about up on my library computer, so I better sign off here and let the man lingering behind me jump on!

 

Lisa (the best friend) and Scott’s beautiful wedding.

   

Stunning photography by Danni Evans

http://www.dannievansphotography.com/

 

My Las Vegas Wedding!