So, I’ve just discovered that this Wednesday is International Women’s Day! I had no idea this day even existed but boy … Ahem, I mean, girl am I happy to help the world sing the praises of women! I mean, I’m no feminist and I’m not really attracted to women, but I am obsessed with them. With us. Obsessed that we can be so unbelievably kick arse at things that scare the hell out of guys. Seriously, we are amazing.

Pregnancy and childbirth are the first two examples of our magnificence but it goes much further beyond that. We can multitask! The word itself “multitask” is not nearly as complex as some of the multitasking I have done in my life. I believe it’s a real achievement to be able to eat a bowl of cereal while contemplating what to eat for lunch and how much you wish it was a bowl of chocolate, while reading the newspaper, enjoying a serious conversation with your partner while also watching your toddler out of the corner of your eye! Yup, that really happens! And not wanting to “man bash” here cause that’s not my style – they have their own unique talents and pros and stuff going on for them.  But I’m not talking about men today because I’m talking about us chicks and how we rock!

I feel blessed to have been born a girl. I LOVE the colour pink! I love girly stuff. I loved dolls when I was younger. I loved dressing up like a princess. I’m slightly obsessed with shiny objects i.e. diamonds! BUT I was also a bit of a tomboy! I liked riding motorbikes. I loved playing in the dirt. Allegedly, at one point I even enjoyed eating a bit of sheep poo and dog food but there’s no proof of this so, let’s get back on track! Being born a girl was brilliant as I could be super girly at times but then I could also be boisterous – and that was ok.

Growing up a girl, at times wasn’t easy, I admit. When you first get your period it’s petrifying! And you’re telling me this is going to happen every month for the rest of my life?!?! AARGH! That’s so scary for someone who’s just started high school. So, this week I need to learn something called algebra, learn how to put a bra on and I have to put that tampon WHERE?

Luckily for me I’ve got some really amazing and inspirational women in my life that have mentored me along the way. Let me start with my mum Shelley. Like most mums she has worked tirelessly to nurture and provide for her family over the years. And like most other Mums her amazing work day in and out, goes mostly unrecognised. She won’t ever win any awards for what she does and yet it’s so important to many and to me it’s been imperative!

My mum met my dad when young and he moved her from the luxurious North Shore of Sydney to a minuscule and baron place, about 45mins from Bathurst called Burraga. She gave up everything she knew for love! Sound familiar? Us chicks do this often, right? So while my dad went to work each day out on his bosses property, she stayed at home and cleaned, ate chocolate, worked their own little property and most of the time just cried I’m told. She was young and she was homesick but each night when my dad arrived home, she would serve up the best meal she could given the limited ingredients she could afford on the pittance my dad earned. She was in love and she dedicated her young self to making her marriage work.

My mum had two little girls (myself and my sister Linda) and again she dedicated herself to us in those early years. Things weren’t easy for her. I was born on a little property on the other side of Bathurst in a little tiny teeny village, called Duramana, and she would grow and sell zucchinis from the back of her old Holden Ute to pay for my nappies. On the weekends, she would be mending fences while trying to stop her wild toddler (me) from taking off into the dam (something I allegedly did quite a bit). She would also have to look after the stock on the property while my dad tried to make money selling cars in town, and this meant having to help untangle calves from wire fences or trying to put animals attacked by foxes or crows out of their misery. My mum was not brought up on a farm and she is incredibly empathetic. She cries to this day if she sees an animal in pain. A possum run over on the road sets off an over-the-top response… so you can imagine the trauma she experienced while looking after poddy calves on our farm. But she’s strong. Stronger than anyone else I’ve ever met. She has had to be. She’s a woman and there’s nothing stronger than that.

I could go on and on about my mum. I think most of us probably could. But I’ll finish off with another story that sticks out in my mind. I was a little bit of a shit (sorry for swearing, mum) when I was young. I had started Kindergarten and I thought I knew it all. Each afternoon I would catch the bus telling her, “I can do it all by myself, mum”, to a local park and my mum (breastfeeding my little sister at the time) would meet me there. One particular day, my Mum was late. Probably only five minutes late, but enough for me to freak out. I remember wanting to punish her so she never did that to me again. Sounds a little psycho but I was scared because there was a lot of kids around from the local High School and I wasn’t quite used to waiting by myself. My mum was always there when the bus arrived. As time went on I started really getting scared. I pretended to look in my bag so no-one would notice me. Some of the older kids yelled out to me. I was petrified. One kid even came over to me (probably being nice) and said something to me. I freaked out. I was balling with my entire bag emptied out on the ground when my mum finally arrived. She took one look at me, her little five-year-old; tear stains and red eyes with her pencil case and reader on the ground and looking distressed. My mum is usually very shy and quiet and begins yelling at the older kids “Did YOU pick on MY KID? Hey buster, did you try to pick on MY kid?” With that, she threw old sheepish me into the back of the Toyota Hilux and drove up over the gutter of the local park chasing after teenage kids who were fleeing like scared animals from the psycho woman in the truck, four-wheel driving through the peaceful park.

When we finally caught some of the older children, my usually timid mum instructs them to stand beside the window and says to me “Is this the kid who picked on you?” I was so shocked and embarrassed I could barely speak. And off we go again looking for the culprit who dared pick on her poor defenceless child. Oops! And do you know she was never ever late again to pick me up. Even when she worked long hours to help my dad start up his own Real Estate business, she would drop everything (sale or not) just to pick me up on time. All because of that day when I was five!

I only told my mum the truth about this whole ordeal when I was about 20. I recall her looking at me in shock with her mouth open for about 10 minutes. Seeing I felt bad about holding onto this little lie for fifteen years, she just muttered, “Those poor, poor kids I chased that day,” and left it at that.

My mum has not just helped me though throughout the years. She has been described as having “a heart as big as Australia”, and I’ve seen her rush to the rescue of many others in need. She has taught me so much about empathy and love and seeing the very best in people. I’m very compassionate and I owe that to my mum’s influence. Growing up, I saw her take a few people to hospital who had been in accidents. Caring for them until their loved ones arrived. I watched her cook meals or lend a hand cleaning or getting groceries for a few widows who were mourning the unexpected loss of their partner. She probably doesn’t realise I witnessed her put in the extra dollars for kids who didn’t have enough money to buy food when she was on canteen duty. I’ve seen my mum call in to see elderly neighbours and bring their bins in or fold their washing, do their ironing. I watched my mum look after my grandmother and my grandfather when dementia set in. I saw her step up and take care of them even when it was emotional torture for her, she never gave up. She would visit them daily and feed them and read to them, cut their nails, clean their teeth and tell them it would be ok. It doesn’t sound anywhere near as hard on paper as the experience was for her. I saw them in their confusion, get angry at her and sometimes yell at her and not once did she ever let that affect her. She realised it for what it was and although emotional at times, would pull herself together and shower them with even more love. I thought often during this time what I would do if I was in that position. She was so strong and she did everything in her power to ensure their final hours were lovely. She was devastated when they passed but she wouldn’t have done a thing differently. I admired that so much about her. I admire her. I’m often in awe of her and now I’m older I try to tell her this often but she’s humble like so many other magnificent women in the world and she always downplays her brilliance.

She will probably dislike very much the attention this little piece will bring to her, because, again, she is Mrs Humble. But I’m already in the poo with what I’ve written above so I’ll just write a little more. Mum, I love you. Thank you for all you have done for me and for my family. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for showing me kindness and compassion. Thank you for teaching me patience and love. I love you.

Now another inspirational woman I’ve been lucky enough to know is my mother-in-law, Glynis. Again the words “strong” and “resilient” come to mind when I think of her. From the day I first met her I knew she was tough. She was a survivor. She also has a heart as big as this country but would argue she didn’t until you gave up if you told her! I’ve known “Grammy” as I call her nowadays for ten years now and I am still amazed at some of her stories when we sit down for a cuppa and a chat. One story that she wouldn’t tell you herself, but that I know for a fact is true reminds me of her strength. When her two children were little and she was living as a single mum, she did what she could to make ends meet. To pick up extra money, she began cleaning houses. She didn’t want her children to know because she realised that their mum needing a second job may scare them.

So, she would dress in office wear and clean during her lunch break and at times when the kids had no idea she was working a second job. She raised two amazingly well-rounded little people with very little help from anyone else. She provided for her children as best as she could and she taught both her children to survive amongst many other traits. I admire her so much for many other reasons that will have to remain private but I just want you to know I’m beyond sucking up! My admiration for her is true. When you see us together, it’s visible. She is another amazing woman and I’m just so pleased that she also will have an influence on both my little girls. Grammy, thank you for all that you do. I love you so much.

My step-grandmother Marilyn is another remarkable woman. She’s endured her fair share of rough times in her life and yet she always remains positive and never ever has a bad word to say about another. I love and respect this about her so much. Thank you, Marilyn for your encouragement and love. I love you.

Another woman who taught me so much when I was growing up is my Aunty Soo. She taught me to laugh a lot! She taught me not to take life too seriously and she taught me to use humour as medicine. She was an incredible hard worker and would throw herself into any job to help anyone in need. One of my cherished childhood memories is my Aunty Soo reading myself and my cousin Shannon a bedtime story. Aunty Soo created a character from a picture in the book and gave it a special voice. My cousin and I laughed and laughed as she read to us. At that point in my young life, I had no idea, my beautiful favourite aunty had recently been through a devastating loss of her daughter, a cousin I never met, to Leukaemia. Now I’m older and I understand the pain caused by losing a child, I only respect her so much more. She was the epitome of strength and I recall many a time wishing I would be just like her when I grew up. Aunty Soo, you too will probably kill me for writing about you (Mrs Humble, too) but I just wanted to take this moment to say thank you and I love you.

>I have so many names of women I admire and respect whirling through my mind now. I can’t list them all because I don’t have enough time. But each of the women I think of, have one thing in common. They have all faced adversity in their lives, some more than once and each one continues on with grace, kindness and sincere love. They may be sad at times. They may even be angry at times. But each and every one of them is genuine and most importantly each one SUPPORTS other women! This is the most important trait. In a world where haters exist, I believe we need more and more love, especially for women. We should be able to encourage, love and support one another and band together except more often than not, we bitch, backstab or try to pull someone else down because of jealousy and our fear that we ourselves are not enough. I can’t stand this about women. It’s something I try every day to teach my children about. I try to encourage them to lift others up. To know that the most amazing women I’ve ever met possess this quality. They may not be famous and they may not be considered beautiful or successful in society’s eyes but they are fabulous women who are happy and positive and what they put out into the universe they get back in shovel loads – kindness and luck and love!

Ok, I’ve just realised I have started to get quite deep here and a little heavy and that’s not really where I wanted this piece to go. I just wanted to say this International Women’s Day, let’s recognise the fantastic traits of amazing women who don’t usually get recognised. The ones who often get forgotten along the way. Let’s encourage talks with our daughters and sisters and friends about who these magnificent women are and how they have helped shaped the women we are today. What makes the women in your life so special to you? What personality traits do they possess that you want to have yourself. What makes an amazing woman in your eyes?

I’m going to take this International Women’s Day and use it to tell all the amazing women in my life just how special they are to me. I want my daughters to grow up feeling empowered to be women. To feel that their sisters will encourage, lift and support them in life. This all has to start at a small level, right?

And I’m also going to throw a challenge out there to all men. I think all men should support the women they love by going and getting their bits waxed! Yep! I think it’s important for them to realise just how strong we women really, are and also what we have to do to keep most of them happy by having hot wax poured on sensitive areas and then ripped off! HA! Happy International Women’s Day, girls!

 

My Mum Shelley

 

 

 

 

My Step Grandmother, Marilyn